Reydon Stanford Counseling Studies

ADDICTIONS

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ADDICTION

 

By Reydon Stanford

 

            An addiction or multiple addictions are directly connected to psychology in that they are the direct result of personal, human behavior.  Although in rare cases someone may become addicted to a substance that is given them against their will...most addictions are a direct result of our own behavior and mentality towards the thing(s) we become addicted to.  Although society often gets the blame for ‘creating the addiction-prone environment,' it is hard to place blame upon society alone, for our own choices, where addiction is concerned.  To believe that our current generation has a more difficult time adapting to the hardships of our lives, than say those travelling across America in covered wagons would be a stretch.  I'm not sure that we could scientifically prove that the current levels of addiction within our society are the result of a greater need for self-medicating than previous generations.

            Although I'm certainly not trying to sound condemning or accusatory towards those struggling with addiction, I do think it's important to begin recovery by admitting that the addiction is the result, (except in rare cases), of our own choice to self-medicate, rather than find healthier ways to adjust to our stress.  In most cases addiction was not intentional, but the result is still the same; intentional or not.  Whether or not someone set out to get addicted to something, addicted is still addicted.

The reason it is important to embrace our own role, (in our addiction), is that we will use those same personal ‘decision-making' processes to overcome the addiction.  In short, it was personal decisions, (and thus behaviors), that trapped us in an addiction and personal decisions that will bring about our freedom.  Freedom from addiction truly begins when WE choose to break the cycle of our actions.

 

WHY WE BECOME ADDICTED

 

            Just as with any major issue, there are multitudes of theories as to cause of the event.  Addiction is no different.  My personal theory revolves around several triggers that tempt us, (as a society), toward addiction. 

  • Social and Peer Pressure: In our society there are multiple things that are a threat to become an addiction that we participate in on a social level or as the result of peer pressure. Gambling, drinking and recreational drugs, for example, are often engaged in for the first time within a social setting. The "everyone's doing it," syndrome seems to be the gentle, (or not so gentle), shove many need to engage in these potentially dangerous things. This is even more dangerous for people who feel socially awkward already and have a greater desire to fit in. With alcohol or recreational drugs to ‘take the edge off' of their awkward feelings, they can quickly associate one with the other. In these cases it is not a ‘real party,' until they have used a substance to help them feel more at ease in the social setting. Addictions that come from this dilemma usually involve a low self-esteem or great feelings of awkwardness in a social setting. These issues can be resolved in counseling through healthy learning skills.
  • Self-Medicating Against Stress: There are many addictions that are associated with self-medicating against stress. Food, alcohol, illicit drugs, prescription drugs, tobacco, sex, pornography, video games and television are a few of the things people use often to give themselves a short drop in their stress level, or at least it seems that way. The greatest...and most obvious problem with these addictions and their cause is that is does not DEAL with the stress, it only MASKS it for a short while, wherein another round of self-medicating is called for. Left unchecked, these addictions almost always lead to much more serious issues down the line. Major health issues, relationship failures, career losses and even death have been directly linked to addictions.
  • Character-Masking: Some addictions are the result of people who are deeply saddened by what they perceive as an ‘unlovable and non-valuable' self. Because such feelings are so emotionally powerful and painful, addictions are used to ‘change the personality' of the person. In short, they like themselves much better when they're drunk, (for example), than when they are sober. In many ways, the addiction is an avenue for an ‘alternate state of being,' that allows them to hide from their true self...if only for awhile.
  • Hiding from Guilt, Shame, or Painful Experiences: Some addictions are the result of self-medicating against the mental torment of horrible past experiences such as war, rape, molestation, incest, family tragedies, mental illness, physical illness and so forth. Many people who have suffered with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder have also fallen victim to addictions as a way to ‘quiet the mind,' from the horrible ‘mind movies' that haunt them, regarding their past...or even their present for that matter.
  • Self Defeating Attitudes: On some occasions, people engage in dangerous addictions as a form of rebellion against society. "This is my life and I can live it any way I choose." "Live it hard and fast, that's my motto." These kinds of rebellious actions are usually the result of an immature psyche that is crying out for acceptance and visibility. It's almost as if they're saying: "If you won't notice me when I'm normal...I'll start killing myself slowly to get your attention." Sadly, in many of these cases...the behavior is fatal.

 

Regardless of "how" or "why" people become addicted, the results are rarely healthy or good.  In fact, if you're reading this article now, it stands to reason that you, or someone you love dearly, (or both), is struggling with an addiction(s) that is slowing stealing your life from you and you desire to get it back.  I applaud your bravery and pray something written here will inspire you to begin taking the steps toward your freedom.

 

TWO SIDES OF ADDICTION

           

            I truly believe that in order to tackle addiction successfully, we must usually deal with two issues.  First is the "chemical side of addiction," which can require hospitalization, medications, (such as anti-withdrawal meds), and plenty of rest.  Chemical addictions are difficult to break, there is no question about that and will power alone is usually no match.  Getting your body detoxified is the essential to breaking an addiction.  Counseling is equally important for long-term success and the mental and emotional dependencies associated with addiction.

The other of addiction is the "mental and emotional dependence," which requires good, structured counseling to help a person understand what thinking processes, behavioral and environmental aspects of their lives contributed to their addiction and how to reverse that cycle.  IT IS MY STRONG OPINION THAT DEALING WITH ONE SIDE OF THE ADDICTION WITHOUT DEALING WITH THE OTHER LEAVES A VERY SMALL CHANCE FOR REAL OR LASTING SUCCESS.  Working through the mental and emotional dependence aspects of addiction is so important because it teaches us what mental and emotional processes and decision-making got us into addiction in the first place.  It also helps us restructure our thinking to avoid the same pitfalls in the future.

 

TAKING THE STEPS TOWARD RECOVERY

  • 1. Admit (out loud) that it was choices that brought about your addiction and choices that will bring you out.
  • 2. Realize that recovery from addiction does not have to be accomplished alone. Supportive friends, family, medical professionals, medications and counselors can help you make the journey. If you don't know how to find this help or fear you can't afford it, find someone who can direct you to these services. If support seems elusive, keep looking. Many people have dedicated their lives to helping, many without asking for a single penny.
  • 3. Studies show that prayer and renewing your faith can greatly improve your chances for success. Healthy spirituality helps to provide peace, hope and strength to face our environment...and more importantly...one's self.
  • 4. Be prepared to do whatever is necessary to get yourself free. If that involves a stay in a rehabilitation facility and long-term counseling, be prepared to say "Yes," to your treatment.
  • 5. If your addiction has a chemical element, such as alcohol, drugs or nicotine, steps must be taken to achieve detoxification.
  • 6. Once detoxification is complete, good counseling is needed to help you learn mental and emotional skills to alter your tendencies and behaviors.
  • 7. Remind yourself that you were not always addicted. You can be free again. Also, remind yourself that your addiction is a problem, but it is not the real you. Refuse to allow your addiction to define you any longer.

 

Copyright by Reydon Stanford 2010

Home
THE NEED TO ADDRESS STRESS
RECEIVE UPDATES!!!
MAKING EFFECTIVE CHANGES
THE PAIN OF GRIEF
THE SELF ESTEEM KILLER
THE RUNAWAY MIND
EXPENDING NERVOUS ENERGY
Delusional Thinking
LETTING GO OF LOST LOVE
"Conformity: Self-Esteem Killer"
THE PASSIONLESS MARRIAGE
ADDICTIONS
SELF-INDUCED STRESS
LOW SELF-ESTEEM
STRESS RELIEF
THE PAIN OF REJECTION
RELATIONSHIP DIFFICULTIES
NOTE TO PASTORAL COUNSELORS
DEPRESSION
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE
Anxiety
FEAR AND MANIA
MENTAL ILLNESS
GUILT AND SELF-CONDEMNATION
BITTERNESS
PARENTING ISSUES
*LONELINESS*
EMOTIONAL TURMOIL
COUNSELOR'S PAGE (FOR COUNSELORS)
The Pain of Divorce
GRIEF RECOVERY
PERSONALITY ISSUES
About Reydon
Contact Info
Disclaimer
*WHY AM I SO ANGRY?